In order for you to understand my vision for the part I see myself playing in helping South Africa into an ever more successful future, you first need to get to know me better. You need to be able to see the world as I see it. I look at the world through the eyes of an optimist. Not in a rose-tinted glasses sort of way where I ignore some of life’s harsher realities. Rather, I recognise that the world is imperfect, but I doggedly refuse to relinquish the idea that things can always be improved. I continue to believe that even though today may have been disastrous, tomorrow always holds the promise of being better. Every day is a blank page upon which we can write another part of our life story. Like any book, some pages hold sadness, disappointment and hurt; but there are always some pages filled with humour, joy, love and hope. This is what makes a life story complete, peppering life with enough of what is good in order to balance that which is bad.
Within this paradigm I can work to overcome challenges because I know that in the future I will celebrate accomplishment. I recognise that because things can always be improved, I can also always do better. This does not mean that I do not revel in my accomplishments, I do, but I constantly strive to be a better student, daughter, sister, friend, partner and citizen. In striving to do better I find happiness, because everything always holds promise. If things are not ideal now, it is OK, because we can always find ways to improve the current situation.
Idealism without realism can be dangerous. Without recognising reality one risks being easily disillusioned. I think my idealism has been learnt from growing up in the family, community and country in which I did. We live in a country grounded in striving for ideals. We have a history of people striving for democracy in the face of apartheid. I was born to parents who were told they were second-class citizens. I was born at a time when there seemed like there could be no end to apartheid in sight, and yet my parents raised me – a coloured girl – to believe that I could become all I ever hoped and dreamt to be. They instilled within me the principle that with hard work and determination I could accomplish anything. Neither of my parents attended university and yet they both encouraged me to further my education. Even when I was not the best student, they continued to support me and believe in me. My early years as a student were riddled with failures. Making the transition from high school to University studies was something I struggled with, but I never gave up and learnt from all my failures, and continued to improve as a student. Growing up on the Cape Flats I never dreamt that I would one day be an Economics researcher. Now I see myself as doing nothing else. I work hard at my studies because I see myself as honouring my family and living up to the promise that they and so many others see in me.
I try to live a life of integrity. Who I am is closely linked to how I think and exhibited in what I do. In every sphere of my life I am an activist. I am not a passive observer of the struggles of others. I think that we can all be vessels for change, and it needn’t only be through big exhibitions of activism. If we actively engage with the issues of the day and choose to abstain from apathy, if we talk to one another and change our thoughts and our actions, we can slowly change the world. I recognise the importance of linking thoughts and actions and I am involved in many activities aimed at building civil society.
I view my contribution to civil society as outward radiating concentric circles. I start at home and work my way out. I encourage my family to vote. I speak to my friends about socially relevant issues and I support their causes. Recently I made a donation to a friend who was organising a blanket drive for children in Nyanga who needed to stay warm this winter. I also supported a friend’s initiative to provide rape kits to Mitchell’s Plain clinic. I donated underwear to compile 100 rape kits (which included a face cloth, soap, toothbrush, toothpaste and a change of underwear) to be given to rape survivors attending the clinic. I regularly support another friend’s annual Cuppa For Cancer drive to raise funds for breast cancer. I try to participate in the annual Women’s Walk on 9 August to raise funds for various causes. I support food drives and soup kitchens by contributing food, money or my time. I was part of Homesick International when we arranged a day of fun for homeless boys. I am focused on strengthening and supporting worthy initiatives, particularly new and small causes, which often need support the most. I believe that many people are doing lots of good work to make a positive contribution to improving the lives of South Africans. Whenever I am informed of a worthy cause I do my best to support it and encourage those around me to do the same, so that individuals may continue their great work.
In my community I am always available to publicly speak on issues surrounding HIV/AIDS, stigma, treatment, unemployment and other socially relevant issues. I am involved with youth groups at various churches. I work with young people I order to help them to develop life skills. I try to instil in them non-violent approaches to conflict resolution. We focus on how they can build themselves up, and those around them, instead of tearing themselves and others down. I am part of hospital and old-age visitations and enjoy encouraging and counselling individuals so that they can focus on life’s promise and not grow despondent. Whenever we visit we make care packages for the patients.
I support my mother’s initiative to provide Christmas party packs to children growing up in Lotus River. I grew up in Lotus River and we, and many residents around us, had few material possessions. On Christmas Day many children in Lotus River go without any special celebration. Within this context my mother decided five years ago that she would make some party packs and give it to some children on Christmas Day. This initiative is mostly self-funded, but we get contribution s from friends and family. The assembly of the party packs now involves a number of family and friends. The party packs bring great joy to the children who receive them, and it is our Christmas Eve labour of love. Assembling party packs on Christmas Eve has become a tradition in our household, and it is one that I intend to continue after my mother passes away. To many children the party packs are the highlight of their year.
I have initiated the Coetzee Merit Award at my high school, Fairmount Secondary School. Many children attending the school come from economically disadvantaged backgrounds. I recognise that I got to further my education because I was able to obtain financial aid, but many promising students have their dreams curtailed because they cannot finance further study. At present the award is self-funded. I save approximately R150 every month and set it aside for the award. With the award I make a contribution towards one student’s tertiary education. It is a small award, the value is R2000, but the award may be used by the student to contribute to their fees, to purchase books or for living expenses while they are studying. My intention is to grow this award in the future, and to have the award managed and distributed by a separate entity. Arranging this will however take some time, and in the interim the award for the next few years may be mostly self funded. The first award will be given on 6 October 2007 at the school’s valedictory ceremony.
I have worked with the Bambanani Women’s Group, a group of HIV positive women in Khayelitsha. From these amazing and courageous women I have learnt many life lessons. They are often who I think of when I am writing up my research. Their faces, and the faces of many others in Khayelitsha, are the ones I see when I add my voice to those of many others calling for everyone to be offered the quality of life to which they are entitled. I have also worked in a team that has trained this group of women to be survey field workers.
As a researcher at the Aids and Society Research Unit my work is aimed at holding government accountable to provide a decent quality of life to all its citizens. I have added my name to many petitions over the years. Most recently I was part of the Treatment Action Campaign’s petition to re-instate Nozizwe Madlala-Routledge. I support non-violent civil action. I do believe that, like fingers, on our own we may not be that powerful but joined together as a fist we can be a force to be reckoned with.
When it comes to my research it is geared towards improving the lives of people who are marginalised. My Masters dissertation focused on the impact of Highly Active Antiretroviral Therapy (HAART) on perceptions of health, and labour supply decisions, of patients in Khayelitsha. At the time of my research the dominant discourse questioned the relationship between HIV and AIDS and the efficacy of antiretroviral treatment. My findings indicated that the lives of people living with HIV/AIDS could be improved through extending access to HAART. My research found that HAART gave patients a second lease of life, and increased their desire to become active in the labour market. Notably highlighting that restored health did not necessarily create a demand for labour.
I want to continue to conduct socially relevant research that can be used to inform ways in which to improve the lives of all South Africans. My goal is to build on my own understanding, and also the understanding of those around me. I aim to ensure that my work is rigorous and methodologically sound so that it can contribute to existing knowledge. The world is full of questions and someone needs to try to find answers. My intention is to pursue a career in research (either as an academic or within the private sector) in order to attempt to find answers to pressing questions. I plan to be recognised as one of the top researchers in Economics in the country. My Masters, and being awarded the Founders Medal, has set the foundation for me to build on my research skills in order to achieve this goal. I view research as my vocation. In it I have found a source of joy and stimulation.
I want to continue to support the work of many others who are trying to improve the lives of others. My life is testimony to what can be achieved through belief and support. I plan to continue to grow into the potential that both others and I recognise in myself. My life story need not resound so loud that it rings down through the annals of history, but my story can resound within my circles of influence. I can be recognised as having lived a life of service and striving to make a difference in the lives of those around me. One of my favourite quotes is by Helen Keller. It says:
“I am only one, but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something, and because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do something that I can do.”
I believe that I can always do something to make a difference in the lives of those around me.